Monday, March 16, 2009

Give an Inch & They take 10 feet.

So, I have realized that I am not where near ready for a Teenage child. Granted Kolton has a ways to go before he gets there. But, my little cousin, okay well not little she's 15, has been staying with me during her Spring Break. She's watching Kolton for me because my baby sitter is out of town for an ill family memeber. Well Sarah and I have a really open relationship. I want her to be able to talk to me about things and feel comfortable. I don't ever want her to get into a situation and have to hid it because she doesn't have anyone she feels like she can talk to. Well, this comes with a lot of biting my tongue and a lot of standing my ground and handling pissy attitude!

She is dating boys now, and it's hard not to think about her as a little girl but in the same respect she is only 15. Well, I told her that her "guy friend", I am not really calling him a boyfriend cause I think she is to young to determine a real relationship, could hang out over here a little while she was on Spring Break. Now, I have known the kid for several years & he has been to my house several times over the years, before they ever started "talking". So, this is me giving her an inch but she wants to take 10 feet. He came over the morning at 730 in the morning, before I was awake. So, I wake up and find them laying on the floor, just talking thank goodness cause I think I would have completely lost it. Now, instead of doing the typical "parent thing" and yell & scream. I politely said Good morning and went on about my morning. Then after he left about 10 that morning. I sat to talk with her about boundaries and what is apporiate for girls her age and how guys percieve girls. But it seemed like what I said went in one ear and out the other. Now I know what my mom meant when she said Teenagers never listen and always think they know everything.

I know I can't keep her from boys or be by her side 24/7. So, I have continually made sure she understands the measures of protection she has to take and that she can't rely on guys excuses for no protection. She has been sexually active (I KNOW...She's 15 what is she doing having sex and where is she having sex!) and her mom doesn't seem to care to discuss this with her. So, I have to step in and play the Mom role.

Well tonight..she pushed her inch to 10 feet!!! She actually had the nerve to ask me that when we go camping for my birthday in May, can he come and stay the night. At first I am like okay, we have plenty of tents. Well she was wanting me to allow them to stay in my tent in the same bed! REALLY??!!!! Some nerve this little girl has. I explain to her that she is not sleeping in the same bed, even if it is in my tent. For one, this is not the example I want to set for my son, even if he is only 14 months old. For 2, I do not approve of someone her age having sex or sleeping in the same bed with the opposite sex. So, when I tell her no. Then the typical teenage behavior kicks in and she thinks she's grown and doesn't understand why I won't let her do what she wants. This is where the being someone she can talk to turns into the headache. Whatever happen to the sweet innocent days where she never would have had the nerve, let alone the thought, to ask me something like that. I miss those days! If these days are just a glimpse of the future I will go thru with Kolton. God Help Me, LOL!

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